Just Call Me ‘Norman’

by Norman S. Lao

“How I wish we can have a first-name kind of relationship among ministers here in Iloilo,” said Diana Sim many years ago during one of our CMF meetings.

I never thought much about her statement until recently when the discussion on unity came to the fore. I am convinced that this was more than just a lonely longing for authentic relationships by a single, female Singaporean pastor who had been far from the familiarities of her home for far too long.

There is, I believe, a deeper truth to her sentiment.

If you observe, we never call people close to us with titles of position (such as God*, Bishop, Reverend, Pastor, etc.). We either call them by their first names or with titles of relationships (such as, Father, Dad, Mom, Uncle, Manong, Manang, etc.).

Friendships do not require titles; first names are enough. Sometimes, titles emphasize our differences (Bishop vs. Pastor, Reverend vs. Pastor, Pastor vs. Brother, etc.) more than our commonalities (such as the fact that we are all children of God, baptized into one body by one Spirit, saved by one and the same Savior, serving one and the same Lord, and bound for one and the same heaven). Titles, positions and a litany of achievements sometimes serve as walls that hinder authentic interchanges. First names are enough.

First names are like bridges that make it easier for me to cross over from my side to yours and from yours to mine thereby enriching both of us in far more tremendous ways than when we remained in our own narrow-mindedness.

First names are more natural and less threatening.

A first-name relationship means that I don’t need to pretend or be superficial with you, I don’t need to be suspicious or feel threatened by you, I don’t need to be defensive, and I don’t need to impress you. I can be vulnerable without fear of being used or abused or misused.

First name means that I respect you and not just your title and what it represents. I respect your person not your position. Then friendships among us can truly become authentic and not cosmetic or synthetic.

First name means that we are equal and that our relationship is mutually beneficial and not one-sided.

I want to have this kind of relationship with you.

So, just call me “Norman.”

Copyright © 2007
Norman S. Lao
Iloilo City, Phils.

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* It was Jesus Christ who introduced God as “Father,” a term not quite common in the OT. Through His Sacrifice on the Cross, Jesus brought God as close as He can get to us that we now can legitimately call Him “Father.”